A Blessing To These Wonderful Dorks!
by IBurn
Summary: A mini-series consisting of various AU/ships/skits for each chapter - about our beloved residents of Remnant! The update schedule is random, as it might feature several writers that wish to collaborate in this series. Labeled complete because the chapters aren't continuous; at the beginning of each chapter, the AU, ship, and author will be mentioned. Refer to the A/N for more info!
1. Chapter 1: My Semblance Will Only Be-

**Special thanks to:**

**Pearl Darkness.**

* * *

**Hello. This is a mini series consisting of different ships/AU/setting or whatever like the description says - the length of each chapter can vary as well. ****(Yes it was the one I referred to in Dear RWBY****) ****The update schedule is random as this might feature several different writers. That's all I guess. Oh and yes, this title is a parody one to KonoSuba. I personally refer to this series as KRWBY (KonoSubaRWBY). I hope you enjoy this!**

**I do not own RWBY.**

**Author of Chapter 1: IBurn.**

**Note: This chapter isn't an AU.**

**#**

**Chapter 1: My Semblance Will Only Be Useful For Things Like This**

It was a cold, moonless night. The sounds of crackling fire could be heard echoing throughout the camp, as well as the loud snores of sleeping tribe members. Her people must be tired - it took them four days to move to this valley that now served as their current base - and that meant four sleepless nights. She, as the leader of the Branwen tribe, did not get much sleep either. There were little to no Grimm activity in this valley according to the scouts' that she sent prior to the move, so Raven thought it would be the best place for them to live in. After all, they had exhausted the resources in their previous base.

They had found a cave that led to the South of Vale some time ago, where the defense was the weakest among all the gates. That gave the thugs and thieves a good opportunity to sneak in or out of the kingdom, including their tribe. But being the highly intelligent leader that she was, Raven had thought of a better way to get them some good lien - robbing from the robbers. Why risk going through the guards and robots, when you could literally have someone do that for you, and then take it from them?

People might thought of them as despicable - but in the world full of unfairness and cruelty, protecting yourself came first. Forget the morals, surviving was their top priority. The people who put 'codes and principles and laws' above themselves were privileged idiots - and this had always been Raven Branwen's thought.

_You have never tried living without the help of your government._

Raven let out a huge sigh, armed up with her weapon, and after whispering something to the night watch, walked towards the exit of the camp. As soon as she was out of anyone's sight, she started running towards a direction, and with a sound of 'whoosh', she transformed into a bird - a raven to be more accurate. She flew towards the top of the mountain that the cave was located and landed on a tall tree. She then transformed back into a human and stood on a rather thick branch. The gentle night breeze brushed through her hair as she removed her Grimm Mask; blue, gentle light started to illuminate her pale face with the clouds gradually moving away, revealing the shattered moon behind. A heart piercing sorrow overwhelmed her when a memory flashed through her mind.

When Yang was little - too little to remember her mother's face, the woman had actually brought her to a cliff and the both of them sat together for a moonlight bath. Her daughter's laugh was so innocent and cheerful back then, but ever since she left, she never really had any contact with her baby girl. She heard from Qrow about how Yang was doing, and even though she told herself she would leave her to protect her from Salem, at times she still longed to see the blonde in person. She was aware that her daughter was looking for her, so she did her best to not get tracked.

_Maybe...just maybe, if it's a late night…_

Normal people would be sleeping at night, right? She could pay Yang a visit without even the latter knowing. She just wanted to take a proper look at her daughter once in a blue moon.

_But she has that Faunus friend. She would notice the moment I step foot into the room. Wait…_

Flying back and forth to Beacon as a bird would take some time - and her tribe might be suspicious if she was gone for too long. But she found a simple solution.

_Just this once…_

The woman jumped down from the tree and landed silently. She gave the surrounding a brief check, and after making sure she was the only person around, she withdrew her sword and swung it diagonally. A black portal was created just right after she sheathed the blood red blade.

_My semblance will only be useful for things like this. _

It was true - Raven's semblance had little to not use in actual combat, and this had caused her to train harder than anyone else to be the fearful leader that she was today. She took a deep breath, then a blinding white light appeared and once again, she had turned into a raven. She then flew into the portal and disappeared.

#

"..."

"What is that? A raven?"

"Why is it in our dorm?"

"Did you forget to lock the windows again, you brute?"

"I made sure to lock it! Blake isn't here to watch out for us with her cat ears after all."

"Do something about it!"

"Yes my Overlady of ze Remnant."

"Shut up, Xiao Long!"

Yang Xiao Long uncovered the blanket, revealing the very naked her, as well as the heiress underneath. Those two were in Weiss' bed, possibly engaging in some kind of wrestling activity.

"Hey birdie, I'm sorry you got trapped here."

"Yang, wear some clothes for fuck's sake." The white haired girl face-palmed.

"It's just you and me anyway. You meant to tell me you don't like this, ma princesse?" The blonde made a rather seductive pose, revealing all of her prominent traits. That had earned a heavy blush from the heiress - she couldn't deny what Yang had just said.

"Love you too, Weissy."

Meanwhile, the raven was on the edge of crying.

_I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THIS._

**#**

**Note to self: Do not attempt to visit the daughter you abandoned at late night.**

**Also, after this, the ships/AU will be mentioned at the beginning of every chapter - so that the readers can skip the ships/AU they dislike. I didn't include the one in this chapter because...otherwise you would've guessed the plot!**

**Anyway, if there's anyone who has funny skits and wishes to collaborate, feel free to PM me! **

**FB & Pa-treon: Freelancer Tank. Drop by my profile for more contacts~**

**I do not own RWBY.**

* * *

**Special thanks to:**

**Pearl Darkness.**


	2. Chapter 2: My Semblance Is Also Useful-

**Special thanks to:**

**Pearl Darkness.**

* * *

**Author of this chapter: IBurn.**

**Note: This is not an AU. Implied White Rose.**

**I do not own RWBY.**

**#**

**My Semblance Is Also Useful For Things Like This**

"It's cold…" Weiss Schnee hugged her knees close to her chest.

Being out on the roof during a cold winter night was Weiss' favorite way of clearing her thoughts - especially if it was snowing. It made a great scenery when paired with the shattered moon of the same color; a strong contrast with the pitch dark night sky. Each of them brought out the uniqueness in the other, painting the world with simple, and yet brilliant colors. She used to do this often back at the Schnee mansion. At first it was because of her parents' arguments, then later on, her mother's alcoholism - combined with her brother Whitley Schnee that turned out to be a jerk the moment he decided to do things the Jacques way. It was a blatant lie if the heiress said she wasn't bothered by her family affairs.

Now that she studied in Beacon, she had much more to worry about, and the one that had haunted her for months was none other than her one-sided crush on her partner Ruby Rose.

Presently, Weiss was on the roof of her dorm along with a figure that sat beside her in silence, listening to whatever she had to say. It stopped snowing just right after she complained about the temperature, so she proceeded to dust the snow off her shoulders.

"I just...I've left so many hints." The heiress spoke in slight frustration, "Either she didn't pick it up or...she wasn't interested in me."

"..." The figure remained silent.

"But I saw her talking to Yang the other day. I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I merely overheard the conversation."

The figure put his hand on Weiss' shoulder, letting her know that he trusted her.

"She knew Blake and Yang were dating. She admitted that she's fine with two women in love. And...I wanted to make sure everything's in control before I confess, so I tested her...I left hints…"

The figure nodded.

"I don't have any romantic experience." She blushed slightly, "But I have done my research. I even borrowed Blake's stash for Dust's sake!"

"..."

"And she just...ignored them!" Weiss slammed the floor hard, then whined in pain before continuing, "Those...little things! That I did subtly - even going as far as using my semblance!"

"..."

"Sometimes, I'm glad that the Schnees' semblance is hereditary. It comes in handy in things like...this. Leaving behind hints for…" Her blush intensified, "For the person I have romantic feelings for."

"..."

"You're a great listener." Weiss smiled at the figure, "Thank you for...listening to my complains."

The figure nodded.

"I just hope that...Ruby will notice…" The heiress whispered, "Or should I just stop beating around the bush and confess?"

"Princess, what are you doing with your summon?"

"_How long have you been there, Belladonna?!_"

**#**

**End.**

**The visual seems hilarious when I first came up with this idea; now that it's put into words, I just can't picture it being that hilarious anymore. I mean, that last part, Weiss must be looking like a deer in the headlights as the screen revealed the shadowed figure sitting beside her.**

**Well, I did my best. I'm practicing my comedy skills, so please let me know if you have any opinions on this!**

**Did anyone get the joke I was trying to make with the chapter name?**

**Alright, I'll end the A/N here, or else it would be longer than the story itself. Until next time! Ninja vanish!**

**(If anyone has funny skits and wishes to collaborate, just leave a PM!)**

**FB (at IBurnFT) & Pa-treon: Freelancer Tank.**

**I do not own RWBY.**

* * *

**Special thanks to:**

**Pearl Darkness.**


	3. Chapter 3: We Don't Even Need Our Sembl-

**Special thanks to:**

**Pearl Darkness.**

* * *

**Author of this chapter: IBurn**

**Note: No ship. This scene starts at Chapter 13 of Volume 5.**

**I do not own RWBY.**

**#**

**We Don't Even Need Our Semblances For This**

_At the battle of Haven._

"Adam!"

All the members of the White Fang - including their leader - simultaneously turned to the figure up a tall building. She stood illuminated by the white moon; black hair, ribbon and white jacket danced with the cold breeze as she gazed down at the people whom she once considered brothers and sisters. Amber orbs focused on the tallest man with flamboyant red hair and a pair of bull horns that took a step in front while calling out to her, "Blake?"

The Faunus saw a huge man talking something to her ex-mentor, but with this distance, not even her cat ears could pick it up. Taking a deep breath, she yelled again, "Stand down!"

Clicks of weapons were heard when all White Fang members went into battle stance. Adam quickly spread both his arms in front of his followers and asked them to wait, in which they obeyed. He laughed in spite, then spoke to Blake in a rather sarcastic tone, "To think that I went through so much trouble to find you, only to have you deliver yourself to me."

"This isn't what's right for the Faunus!" Blake spoke. She wasn't exactly shouting, rather she made sure she was loud enough to reach all the White Fang members on the ground, "Stop what you're doing and we can end this peacefully."

"You're wrong, Blake." The man shifted his position as he answered, "And you can't stop us."

"Yes, I can." She answered in utter determination. It scared Adam for a brief moment, but he quickly regained confidence when he realized that her ex-apprentice was probably just bluffing to appear strong.

Then he heard noises. Thousands of Faunus appeared surrounding him and his followers; all of them were equipped with weapons and it didn't seem like they were doing this involuntarily. He gritted his teeth, not knowing how a weak coward such as Blake Belladonna could gather this amount of force. But it was fine. He was the leader of the greatest revolution in the world - a savior of the Faunus that led them to a truly brighter future in Remnant. His movement did not go unnoticed by Blake as the girl yelled, yet again at the person she once respected, "Drop your weapon, and surrender!"

"Make me!" With a cry, Adam Taurus unsheathed his sword, signalling a declaration of battle. This had prompted the Faunus volunteers to point their weapons at the White Fang.

"I will." Blake was obviously not fazed by it; she simply put her hand into the right pocket of her jacket and grabbed a silver item. It was too small for the man to tell what it was, but he assumed it was not much of a threat. He positioned his sword in front of him, getting ready to absorb whatever attack the girl was going to unleash. She raised the silver items up, and-

-And all of the Faunus volunteers surrounding them had dropped their weapons. Confused, the man tightened his grip, mouthing "what happened" to his men, but none could give him a satisfying answer. Then, aside from the White Fang, everyone else had put on a pair of ear muffs.

"Was that-"

Adam Taurus couldn't finish talking before a soul-piercing noise penetrated his brain. The high pitched sound was so torturing that he cried out in pain - for a moment he thought his ears were bleeding, so he touched it - but there was nothing.

"Damn it!" He cursed.

All the White Fang members threw their weapons violently and covered their ears, a desperate attempt to escape from that heart-wrenching noise.

#

Blake Belladonna watched as the Mistral Police Force cuffed all of the terrorists at the scene, including their leader who was trying to scare the female officer off, but to no avail. She silently thanked Ilia who suggested the use of this item to defeat the White Fang in such a peaceful manner. The mob she brought from Menagerie was just a backup in case this didn't go well.

_Looks like we don't even need our semblances for this. _

She had decided that from now on, she would not oppose to the idea of training dogs with a dog whistle.

**#**

**Again, like the last chapter, this would even be funnier if it was made into a comic. Credits of this idea goes to a certain YouTube commenter on a certain episode of RWBY Chibi. I don't know who you are, sir, but you're brilliant and should definitely start writing comedy.**

**So again, if anyone have a funny skit and want to collaborate, feel free to approach me. I'm not as scary as I looked. Don't worry.**

**FB (at IBurnFT) & Pa-treon: Freelancer Tank.**

**I do not own RWBY and the dog whistle idea.**

* * *

**Special thanks to:**

**Pearl Darkness.**


	4. Chapter 4: Freezerburn Flirting Diary 01

**Special thanks to:**

**Pearl Darkness.**

* * *

**Author: IBurn**

**Note: This is not an AU. Freezerburn.**

**I do not own RWBY.**

**#**

**Freezerburn Flirting Diary 01**

"You know, the main guy in most romance movies is really cheesy." Yang commented suddenly, "Even at hard times, he still found ways to say cheesy things to the girlfriend."

Weiss raised an eyebrow out of question. She then answered, "Well, some people use humor to cope with stress."

"Hm~"

Her girlfriend, the legendary blonde brawler with a weird taste in films had asked her out on a date at the cinema. She was quite surprised when the muscle woman actually chose a romance movie, not the usual horror-comedy film. Weiss still had no idea how those two genres could go together - but they did, and whoever made them work was a genius. Yang had chosen this film titled 'The Potato Revolution', that the heiress quite frankly thought it was a stupid name for a love story.

But it was good. Not as good as 'The Nod Book', but it had its own unique way of approaching the themes of 'love' and 'sacrifice'. It was quite refreshing to watch a movie with messed up teenagers finding love in the world of war and famine instead of angsty adults that worked in an office - or sparkling vampires. The protagonists were potatoes farmers that had to live in fear every single day because of the flying missiles above their heads; but even so, they'd found love and support in this unforgiving world. There were occasional humor and quite an amount of cheesy lines, but none are out of place with the theme the film attempted to portray.

Weiss cried at the bittersweet ending - where Patrick died shielding Marie from an explosion. It was during an attempt to take back their potato farm. Yang noticed her girlfriend weeping, so she wrapped her arm around the latter's shoulder as a sign of comfort.

The epilogue showed Marie's escape to a better place - she even started her own farm again, to feed the hungry citizens and at the same time, to remember her deceased lover.

The cinema's lights were turned on as soon as the credit started rolling. There weren't much people in the cinema, but the couple had decided to stay there until the heiress felt better.

"Weiss, you okay?"

"Of course I am." Came the immediately reply, "Just...it was very touching."

"Indeed." The blonde spoke. She paused for a moment, then grinned while whispering in her lover's ears, "You know Weiss, if you're a potato, you'd be a _sweet potato._"

"...Did you take me here to watch this entire movie _just to say that pun?_"

"You'd be _my _sweet potato."

**#**

**I can't think of anything funny to write. I'm sorry.**

**Well, this series doesn't have to be humor all the way. Expect more fluff in the future. Some **_**sweet **_**fluff!**

**If anyone wants to collaborate, feel free to pm! You can write as many chapters are you want to!**

**I do not own RWBY.**

* * *

**Special thanks to:**

**Pearl Darkness.**


	5. Chapter 5: Freezerburn Flirting Diary 02

**Special thanks to:**

**Pearl Darkness.**

* * *

**Author: IBurn.**

**Note: Not an AU. Freezerburn.**

**I do not own RWBY.**

**#**

**Freezerburn Flirting Diary 02**

"..."

"What, Weiss?" Yang Xiao Long seemed unfazed despite the fact that a certain heiress had just walked in on her while she was showering. Weiss looked like she just woke up, judging by the disheveled hair and dress, plus the drowsy look on her face - which had turned into surprise now.

"Is that…"

"My boobs? Yes, you've seen them countless times." She turned around and said.

"Wha- No!" Weiss' face turned a few shades of red. She then pointed at the blonde's back and yelled, "Is that a tattoo?!"

"Huh? You didn't know?" Yang turned off the tap and the water stopped running immediately. She was having her daily cold shower in the morning, and thus there wasn't any steam - hence the reason her girlfriend could take a clear look at her...naked body. There was a tattoo of a heart-shaped flame in black on her right shoulder blade.

"No, I-"

"But we've had sex a few times."

"...We always had the lights off."

"Can't see very well in the dark?"

The red on the girl's face deepened.

"Well...we should do it with the lights on then?" Yang grabbed the towel and started drying her hair.

"That's- of course, if you insist."

"Aw such a tsun."

"Shut up!"

"But Weiss, we change our clothes in the room pretty much everyday…?"

"I…"

"You were too embarrassed to take a good look at your gorgeous girlfriend?"

"_Stop!_"

The blonde laughed merrily as she teased her even more, "Remember when the raven flew into our room the other day?"

"What about it?"

"I posed entirely naked under the moonlight from our window didn't I?"

"...I only saw your front."

"Good point."

Awkward silent.

"So...sex?"

"Blake and your sister's in the room!"

"But they're not in the bathroom~" Yang smirked while making her way to lock the door, "And they're still asleep~"

"Please remember to lock the door the next time you shower."

"Of course." The blonde replied, though she thought otherwise in her head, "So, can we sex now?"

"...You just showered."

"Can't?"

"...Can."

**#**

**I was giggling the entire time I wrote this story. In this timeline, Weiss and Yang had just started dating for a while. And when they changed clothes, though Yang's back was facing Weiss, it was conveniently blocked by Blake's books (you know, the bunk bed support pillars) so even if Weiss was to take a glance, she couldn't see it.**

**I am jealous of them. I want a girlfriend too.**

**FB & Pa-treon: Freelancer Tank.**

**I do not own RWBY.**

* * *

**Special thanks to:**

**Pearl Darkness.**


	6. Chapter 6: FFD: Ruby's Question

**Special thanks to:**

**Pearl Darkness.**

* * *

**Author: IBurn.**

**Note: Same AU as the Freezerburn before this.**

**#**

**Freezerburn Flirting Diary: Ruby's Question**

"Hey Weiss?"

"Yes, Ruby?"

"How did Yang confess to you?"

Baffled by the sudden question, Weiss Schnee slammed-shut her textbook immediately as her ears and cheeks turned bright red. Why in the world would Ruby ask something like that? The heiress just couldn't see this dork being interested in things other than weapons and cookies. Strawberries, maybe, but romance? Out of the question. She fake coughing, then sat up straight to regain her composure while ignoring stares from other patrons in the library.

"Why don't you ask Yang? She would be more than happy to fill you in." Weiss whispered, not wanting extra attention from the surrounding.

"Do you think she will ever stop talking, had I asked her?" Ruby rolled her eyes.

"...I see your point."

"So while they're busy dealing with Professor Goodwitch, just...you know, tell me the story! It's a golden opportunity!"

The white haired girl sighed, then asked, "And why would you want to know?"

"I'm just curious." The brunette shrugged.

"Alright then."

#

"Hey Weiss?"

"Yes Yang?"

"Um...wanna go for a walk?" The blonde asked. She was scratching her cheeks with her index finger while fidgeting.

Weiss knew she was up to something, but she stayed silent about it and just nodded in response. A prank, maybe? But this gigantic oaf looked genuinely flustered for some reason. Maybe Yang had something really intimate that she had to discuss with the heiress alone?

_Impossible. She talks about that kind of things with Blake._

Which only led to one possible scenario.

_It has to be that. _

_...I'm not that dense._

Yang didn't say anything while they were strolling through the forest nearby. Not until they reached the cliff side. She signaled the heiress to sit down on the soft grass; their hair danced with the gentle breeze that carried the smell of lilies elegantly under the dim moonlight. A perfect atmosphere for a confession.

"Um. What do you think of our team name?" The blonde finally talked.

"It is a little difficult to read for the public." Weiss answered immediately.

"No, I mean, _our _team. Us."

"Oh." She raised an eyebrow, showing that she understood, "Well, I don't know why Ruby picked a word that doesn't exist in the dictionary, but I supposed...it sounded nice."

"Right." Yang touched the back of her neck, "Freezerburn."

The heiress refrained from giving any comments after her teammate read their formation name aloud. She was waiting for her to say it. She already had the answer anyway.

"Do you think...uh...we have a chance to make it real?"

"That is a weird way to phrase your intention." She retorted.

Yang blushed from the remark, then looked to another side and mumbled something inaudible. After a few seconds, she gathered up her courage and finally said it, "I love you. Please go out with me."

"No."

#

"Wait! _Wait, hold the eff up!_" Ruby stood up forcefully all of a sudden, knocking her chair down in the process.

"Be quiet, Ruby! This is the library!"

"No, I can't accept it. You said no-"

That I did."

"Then why are you both together?"

Weiss Schnee's face turned red as Ruby's cape as she placed her hand on her lips, "That's a story for another time."

**#**

**I ran out of ideas for this series guys. **

**If there's anyone who wants to collaborate with me (write a short gag or something) on this series, just PM me. **

**I do not own RWBY.**

* * *

**Special thanks to:**

**Pearl Darkness.**


	7. Chapter 7: Coming Out, The Yang Way

**Special thanks to:**

**Pearl Darkness.**

* * *

**Author: IBurn.**

**AU: Previous Freezerburn AU.**

**I do not own RWBY.**

**#**

**Coming Out, The Yang Way.**

"Ahem, dear all, we have gathered here today-"

"Yang, can you not phrase it like that?" A certain heiress huffed.

"What is this about?" Pyrrha asked.

Currently, all of Team RWBY and JNPR were sitting on the floor in the former's dorm. Yang somehow made Ruby gather all of them here without telling her the purpose in advance.

"So, I have something big to announce to all of you. I consider you my close friends, so...well, we would like you to know about us." The blonde's tone shifted suddenly. She then put her hand around Weiss Schnee's waist, pulling her near and spoke in a mischievous tone - along with a smirk that was all too familiar to both teams, "This woman here, is my _Wei-fu now!_"

That slammed everyone (including the Wei-fu) into silence.

A few seconds after, the heiress scowled and pinched Yang's cheeks while everyone just face-palmed; some were groaning at how lame the joke was.

"But in all honesty, thanks for clarifying, even though it was blatantly obvious." Blake rolled her eyes as she commented.

"Then, can I announce something too?" Nora Valkyrie mimicked her Beacon-property-destroyer-buddy's expression.

"Give us some time for mental prepara-"

"This man here, is my boyf-_Ren!_"

"_Goddamnit-_"

**#**

**This, took me so long to write. Help.**

**Anyway, I hope you like it. I wanted to include this coming out scene into Dear RWBY but...there's no way they can keep their relationship a secret with all the...rainbow scenes. So I wrote it here! Yes, I made this entire chapter just for the Weifu pun. No regret!**

**I do not own RWBY.**

**Pat-reon & FB: Freelancer Tank, my Pa-treon page has the same logo as my FF profile, while my FB page has a tank as the picture.**

**So if anyone wants to collaborate, feel free to DM me!**

* * *

**Special thanks to:**

**Pearl Darkness.**


End file.
